For most of my life, if you’d asked me where I was on the emotional scale, I would have said somewhere in the middle or higher. I’m not depressive, I don’t have major crises, maybe a 7 on good days and a 4.5 on low ones.
But recently I had a realization that startled me awake. On David Hawkins’ map of emotions, the very bottom isn’t anger or fear — it’s shame and guilt. And here’s the truth: most of us slip into shame and guilt far more often than we think.
We don’t always name it that way. Instead, it shows up in subtle daily moments:
• The replay of a conversation with the thought, Why did I say that?
• The urge to be “nice” so we don’t upset someone.
• The heavy feeling after resting while others seem “productive.”
• The jealousy when someone else shines, with the hidden sting of I’m not enough.
Shame contracts us. It makes the chest sink, the body curl, the spirit shrink. Guilt keeps us apologizing, overcompensating, pleasing. Together, they quietly shape so many of our decisions and moods.
And here’s the liberating part: once you can recognize shame and guilt for what they are — once you can feel their texture in your body and name them — you’re free from the shame of feeling shame. That alone begins to loosen their grip.
It’s not about triumphing once and for all. Shame and guilt may always visit. But every time we notice them, we get to ask: Is this story true? Am I really less than? Or are there countless things I can appreciate about myself right now?
That choice — again and again — is how we rise. Not into constant bliss, but into equilibrium. A steady peace where we no longer chase highs or drown in lows. Where we remember our truth and let glimmers of joy find us naturally.
✨ I’ll be exploring this theme more deeply in my upcoming workshop on Peace and the Thriving Life. If you feel called to release old shame and guilt and step into emotional equilibrium, consider this your invitation to join.
