Nothing is Ever Black and White Like a Sesame Roll

Are you an introvert or an extrovert? Is something right or wrong? Is it good or evil? Is it yin or yang? Have you ever considered that nothing is ever truly black and white—like the sesame roll I love so much?

These dualistic ways of categorizing everything as either/or are primitive and create a sense of separation—me versus you, body versus mind, them versus us. When we’re in survival mode, our minds latch onto this kind of thinking to preserve energy. It simplifies complex life situations and choices into stark options: fight or flight, life or death, now or never. In those moments, these feel like the only “truths” about our reality. There’s no room for lengthy analysis, prose, or poetry—just decisions driven by survival instincts.

As a short-term mechanism, this kind of thinking is necessary. But we shouldn’t let our minds remain stuck in these limiting categories. Life is far more complex, full of nuances that resemble the colors in a rainbow rather than black and white. The neat categories we create only exist in our minds. As complex beings, we’re not just an either/or—we're part of a spectrum, constantly shifting and evolving.

When you catch yourself asking, “Should I do A or B?” or, “Is it better to be this or that?” it’s probably a sign that you’re avoiding a broader, more integrated perspective. Perhaps A and B can coexist, or maybe there’s a little bit of A in B and vice versa. Life is rarely binary—it’s a spectrum of energies and possibilities.

This survival-driven, black-and-white thinking is often the tell-tale sign of our fear-based ego. Notice the tone of thoughts like “I’ll never be enough,” “They’re always like that,” or “He’ll never change.” On the surface, the ego’s voice sounds simplistic, but its “logic” is actually quite complex. For example, if you experienced rejection in the past, your ego may decide that the best way to avoid that pain again is to avoid any situation where rejection is a possibility. So avoidance becomes part of your personality. But at the same time, the ego might also crave recognition and approval from others to fill the void left by rejection. It works both ends of the spectrum, leaving you confused about which voice belongs to the ego and which to your higher self.

Have you ever noticed these patterns within yourself? What has helped you discern the true voice of your inner wisdom?